Emotional dependence – What it is, how to identify it and how to overcome it

In short, emotional dependence is an extremely intense attachment to someone. First of all we need to understand and above all interpret the meaning of the word dependence. According to the dictionary it means subordination and subjection. Therefore, when we say that a certain person is a drug addict, they are basically a hostage to the drug, always needing it to feel good.

However, bringing this to the field of interpersonal relationships, someone who is emotionally dependent needs the other person to be happy.

How to identify emotional dependence?

So, below we have some factors that greatly influence triggering emotional dependence.

Always put the other person first

Firstly, this is one of the main factors of this dependence, even if you are in a loving relationship, you always need to put yourself first. After all, before anything else, you first need to love yourself to later love someone.

Being afraid of being alone

Secondly, the fear of not dating someone can also generate this. Remember in advance that before you met a certain person, you already had a life, and that if by chance this relationship ends, other relationships will follow.

Not feeling good in your own company

Thirdly, learn to enjoy being alone sometimes. However, do things you like to do, as well as watch your favorite films and series. You need to feel good about yourself.

Place all possible expectations on the other person

Don’t create expectations about someone else, you never know if that person would really hurt you. So be aware of this before starting a relationship.

Always feel rejected

Feeling rejected only hurts you in every way, not just in your relationships. You need to be self-sufficient and most importantly confident in who you are and what you believe.

Believing that the other person will change

This is also one of the biggest causes of emotional dependence, because of the fear of being alone and believing that the other person can change, you become trapped in a relationship that is not good for you. Be alert!

Believing that you are always wrong

If during an argument you are sure that you are not the wrong one in the situation, but you accept the wrong role just to not upset the other person, this is also a sign of emotional dependence.

Idealization

It may happen that you create a person in your head who never actually existed. Your partner may not be the person you always imagined they would be. And because of this idealization you become dependent.

Exaggerated jealousy

It is also a cause of emotional dependence because along with it comes insecurity.

Lack of interest in friendships

If you only want to know about this person, for you they alone make you happy and you are not interested in being with your friends and family, or even making new friends, that is also dependence.

Does not recognize its value

It also includes emotional dependence when you only want the other person to have merit and even forget about your goals and dreams, always putting them in second place.

How to overcome all this?

Recognize your value

First of all, realize your achievements, establish your own goals and objectives. A relationship is only good when it adds to your personality and does not take away from it.

Be less self-critical

Everyone makes mistakes, stop seeking perfection.

Believe that you have control of yourself

No one knows you better than yourself and only you can control yourself, never let someone else want to take that position.

Se ame!

Make a list of the things you like to do alone, learn to enjoy your own company.

Make your own choices

Of course, asking for an opinion every now and then is cool. However, you are the one who decides absolutely everything about your life. Because when you seek someone else’s opinion, you may be seeking approval.

Build a network of relationships

Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you can’t have other people in your life, quite the opposite. Also try to be with your family, go out with your friends and meet new people. Above all, never isolate yourself.

Emotional dependence and abusive relationships

When someone is emotionally dependent, there is a high chance of being a victim of an abusive relationship. There are many men who take advantage of this dependence to exercise their controlling and toxic side.

An abusive relationship does not necessarily always involve physical aggression, the greatest type of abuse that occurs is psychological.

See some characteristics of a toxic relationship:

• Manipulation
• Emotional games
• Isolation
• Guilt and reconciliation
• Punishment
• Possessiveness
• Distrust
• Jealousy
• Superiority
• Invasion of privacy
• Inappropriate sexual behavior
• Financial dependence
• Threat to physical integrity

The main key to leaving an abusive relationship is to ask for help. If you recognize that your relationship has these characteristics, the first step is to ask for help immediately.

All this is not love

In a healthy relationship, each person must be able to grow in the relationship, be able to be free, have friends, be able to express themselves, impose themselves, vent. In short, all this mutually.

All this because we are taught that we should always be with someone. But no, you can perfectly be happy alone, is that saying, better alone than in bad company.

However, emotional dependence is based on a feeling of emptiness that needs to be filled by someone. These people who cannot live alone look for someone to fill the void. Therefore, if you have any doubts, first consult a psychologist you trust.

Finally, this was our content. Later also read: Real friends – How to know if your friendships are true

Featured Image: Dating with Purpose

Sources: Well-resolved women Sbie Psicologia msn