How to control anger (in adults and children)

How to control anger (in adults and children)

Health

Recurrent attacks of anger, known scientifically as intermittent explosive disorder or even Hulkare episodes in which the person reacts very aggressively, which can happen verbally, such as swearing, or through physical behavior, such as hitting or biting.

These tantrums most of the time seem to happen for no reason that could justify the intensity of the emotional outburst, but they are the result of a lack of ability to control one’s impulses, they can last 30 minutes and happen in both children and adults. .

However, it is possible to control these anger attacks through psychotherapy and in some cases the use of calming medications.

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Tips for controlling tantrums

Depending on age, there are different strategies that can be used:

1. Not adult

As an adult, one of the most effective ways to avoid having an outburst of anger is to focus on breathing. So, you can count to 10 and, during these seconds, take the opportunity to reflect and try to think about the problem in another way, avoiding immediately becoming aggressive. Another option is to move away from the person or situation that is causing stress.

However, although it is important to know how to control anger in the moment, it is also recommended that the person works on excess anger in the long term, avoiding new crises. To do this, some steps include:

  • Recognize and define the problem: being aware of what causes the anger attack and accepting it allows you to think of alternatives to avoid the feeling of anger;

  • Anticipate: creating strategies, such as listening to music before an event that causes anger, such as traffic, for example, can help reduce aggressive responses;

  • Practice regular physical exercise: is essential to be able to channel stress, and exercises with a greater release of energy are especially recommended, such as kickboxing or something more relaxing like pilates;

  • Avoid sources of stress: for example, if you identify that there is a person who is part of your daily life and causes a lot of irritation, you should try to stay away from them to reduce the chances of having another outbreak;

  • Understanding what causes tantrums: This can be done through therapy with a psychologist, but also through reflection on everyday moments. Some of the most common situations include being stuck in traffic or receiving some type of insult.

If you feel that your explosive temper is damaging your interpersonal relationships or if friends and family directly mention that your behavior is different at times, it is important to seek help from a professional, such as a psychologist.

2. In the child

In the case of children, it is important to understand that the aggressive outburst is usually due to the inability to deal with frustration, due to not having previous experience of how to act in this type of situation. Therefore, to minimize the immediate effects of these outbursts, also called tantrums, you should try to distract the child, for example by removing them from the stressful environment or suggesting a new game.

However, it is necessary to work with the child to prevent future outbreaks, and some strategies include:

  • Say no: It is important that parents or guardians set limits on the child’s desires so that they learn that you don’t always get what you want. If there is an outbreak of aggression, the child cannot get what he wants, otherwise he learns that whenever he wants something he has to act like it.

  • Be an example: the child absorbs his environment. Therefore, if she notices that her family is aggressive, she will also tend to be aggressive. Therefore, it is essential to be coherent and follow the models that we try to teach.

  • Create a climate of trust: so that the child feels safe to release what they feel. At these moments it is important to explain that it is normal to feel sad or upset but that it is not okay to hit, bite or engage in other types of aggressive behavior.

Whenever dealing with children, it is advisable to use age-appropriate language, as well as getting down to their level, keeping speech short, simple and clear, because young children cannot concentrate for long periods of time.

When aggression can be related to a typical phase of child development or when the above strategies help, there is generally no need to worry. However, if you find that the child is unable to deal with frustration, or is hurting themselves or others, it may be necessary to request an evaluation from a psychologist.

How the treatment is carried out

When you are unable to express anger in a healthy way, several long-term problems can arise, such as depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping or even the adoption of addictive behaviors, such as drugs or alcohol.

Therefore, it is recommended to consult a psychologist, who usually uses cognitive behavioral therapy to help understand the reasons behind outbursts of anger. Therefore, it is important to be aware of what happens before an outbreak so that you can create strategies to better deal with your aggressive impulses.

Outbreaks are also often due to an accumulation of negative situations that have not been resolved in the past, but which manifest themselves as inappropriate aggressive reactions to a given situation such as an insult, which may not even be related.

However, after consulting a psychologist, if he or she considers that after evaluation it is necessary to resort to medication to control mood, he or she will refer you to a psychiatrist.