Do you feel like every person on the face of the earth has a father except you? Know that millions more people will spend Father’s Day without a father.
Father’s Day is a date celebrated in Brazil every year, specifically on the second Sunday of August. However, for many people this date was crossed off the calendar. Even more so, when a flood of photos and tributes on social media remind them that they will spend Father’s Day without a father.
In other words, do you feel like every person on the face of the earth has a father except you? First of all, know that there are millions of people going through the same situation.
Despite this, understand that your pain is unique. However, there are countless reasons to spend Father’s Day without a father. However, there are some very common situations that may apply to you.
Main reasons to spend Father’s Day without a Father
The Father who passed away
Firstly, if it were up to us, the people we love would never leave. Still, this is the course of life. If your father has passed away, try to keep the good memories he has left behind. The loss hurts a lot, but be proud of the legacy he left.
Keeping smiling and moving on with your life is what he would definitely want for you. Your father’s time has ended here on earth, but his story can still live on through his children.
The absent father
A father who is absent by choice can cause wounds in a child from childhood to adulthood. In this sense, all the celebrations at school, the Father’s Day souvenirs that the teacher taught end up having a negative result.
However, try to understand that your father may be a man who does not have the emotional maturity to assume this role in your life. Still, nothing justifies the abandonment and the pain he caused you. So don’t blame him, just understand that nothing is lost.
The father you don’t know
Previously, we talked about the absent father, but how can I miss someone I don’t know? This is a very common reality. Often, the father does not know about the existence of the child or cannot know where to find him.
We often see stories of people asking for help to find family they never met. If you have the opportunity to look for your father, try to resolve this area of your life. He may not want to live together, or he may choose to never be away from you again.
The father who lives far away
What separates you two is geographic distance? In this case, there are many ways to reduce homesickness. So, don’t get carried away by commercial factors. Father’s Day involves a lot of capitalism, be aware of the love you have for your father.
This way, all your affection can cross borders. Maybe he is far away to give you a better living condition. Show gratitude, try to understand his reasons for being physically distant. It may be temporary!
The father you don’t consider
You have a father present, but you can’t like him. Whereas, he doesn’t treat you well and embarrasses you in front of people. It may be that you have suffered a great disappointment with your parents’ separation. Consequently, you can only see him as a villain.
On the other hand, try telling him how you feel. People change, they decide to improve. Therefore, if you find a chance for reconciliation, do not hesitate.
How to deal with Father’s Day without a father?
When the date approaches, it is inevitable not to imagine that you will spend another year without a father. You’re starting to remember all the times you’d like to have a barbecue on Sunday. As well as spending hours walking around stores to choose a gift.
Maybe you’ve already experienced these moments, but now you can’t anymore. In short, it’s not easy, but we need to look for other ways to deal with the emptiness on that date. It is important to highlight that a father’s reference is essential in our lives.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be someone of blood. This person will not replace your father. I’m definitely referring to someone who will help you, doing for you everything a father should do.
Celebrate with your father reference: Be it your mother (Pãe), your older brother, grandfather, uncle, or family friend. Celebrate Father’s Day with someone you consider suitable for this role. For example, it could be that person who advised you and was with you at every moment of your life.
Make a video call or send a gift by post: Even if your father is geographically distant, try to celebrate with him virtually or by sending a surprise gift.
Seek reconciliation, if it is reciprocal: Finally, there is no worse situation than living with heartache. Have you ever stopped to think that your father might not be able to express how he feels? Seek dialogue, try to resolve any misunderstandings.
Sources: Mental detachment, Family, IG Delas, Nova Escola
Images: Fans of Psychoanalysis, Uol Universa, Z1 Portal, UnFranchise Blog, Clear conscience
