Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that help a person identify, understand and manage their emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of other people, helping to balance relationships.
Some of the benefits of emotional intelligence include promoting understanding and empathy, helping to make decisions, improving communication, interpersonal relationships, self-knowledge, self-esteem and self-confidence.
Read too: 8 steps to increase self-esteem
To develop emotional intelligence in everyday life, it is recommended to practice active listening, know how to deal with uncomfortable emotions, cultivate empathy, learn to deal with stress and, in some cases, undergo psychotherapy.
Main pillars
The 5 pillars of emotional intelligence are:
- Self-awareness: Ability to identify one’s own emotions and feelings, and what causes them;
- Self-regulation: Ability to deal with one’s own emotions and impulses;
- Self motivation: Ability to motivate and stay motivated, to set and achieve goals, and improve to grow as a person;
- Empathy: Understanding other people, even when their opinions, experiences and emotions are very different from yours;
- Social skills: Skills involved in social relationships, such as informal conversations and work environments.
These pillars of emotional intelligence were developed by Dr. Daniel Goleman, one of the leading psychologists studying emotional intelligence.
How to develop emotional intelligence
Some exercises that help develop emotional intelligence are:
1. Practice active listening
Practicing active listening, paying attention to what the other person says, their body language, tone and the speed of their voice, during a conversation, helps to better understand what the person is saying, their emotional state and the messages beyond the what she is saying.
To practice active listening, it is important to let the other person express themselves without interruptions, to facilitate communication and create a relationship of trust and acceptance. Additionally, controlling external and internal distractions also helps improve active listening.
2. Knowing how to deal with uncomfortable emotions
Working on emotional awareness means knowing how to deal with uncomfortable emotions, with resilience, considering them as something normal and sometimes useful, instead of ignoring or repressing them.
Understanding negative emotions as something natural helps to deal with feelings productively, increasing self-awareness and the ability to adopt positive changes in life.
3. Recognize your own emotions
Taking time to recognize your emotions and name them helps balance reactions, avoiding impulses. In cases of anxiety, one must analyze whether this reaction is true or whether it is hiding another feeling, such as fear of failure, judgment or presenting oneself in public, for example.
To help you recognize your own emotions, thoughts and feelings, and the way you deal with them, you can write them down in a diary at the end of each day, for example.
4. Manage stress and anxiety
Practicing concentration activities, such as meditation, yoga and diaphragmatic breathing, for example, helps to manage stress and anxiety, helping to control emotions and learning to use them in a healthier way.
Read too: Meditation: what it is, benefits (and how to meditate)
5. Cultivate empathy
Cultivating empathy is understanding the emotions and perspectives of others in certain situations. Empathy strengthens relationships and the ability to connect with people.
Some tips for cultivating empathy are: recognizing that friends, family and co-workers, for example, also have their emotions and need to learn to deal with them; and avoid judgement.
6. Develop interpersonal relationships
Developing personal relationships is essential to improving relationships with people and building positive and healthy relationships in the family, at work and in other environments.
To develop or improve interpersonal relationships, it is advisable to communicate respectfully; maintain a positive attitude, but avoid toxic positivity; be open to criticism and feedback; establish limits; and practice active listening.
7. Ask for feedback
To understand how you feel and how people feel during conversations, you can ask friends, bosses or family for feedback, asking them about how you react to difficult situations, how empathetic you are, how you deal with conflict and how the person feel when during communication.
This exercise can be uncomfortable, as you don’t always hear what you want. However, listening is often necessary to improve future communications and strengthen relationships.
8. Get psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is a good way to develop emotional intelligence, because this therapy promotes the development of tools and strategies that help people deal with their emotions and feelings in a positive way.
Read too: Psychotherapy: what it is, what it is for, types and how it is done
Emotional intelligence at work
Emotional intelligence at work improves the work environment, reducing friction, improving communication, promoting flexibility and reducing stress.
Furthermore, people who develop emotional intelligence generally have greater motivation and commitment, improving productivity, reducing turnover and promoting personal and professional success.
Leaders with emotional intelligence are able to act effectively with problems that may arise at work, calmly and objectively. Furthermore, leaders with emotional intelligence also inspire and motivate employees, understand and manage people’s emotions, and maintain healthy relationships with subordinates and superiors, contributing to the team’s success.
Importance of emotional intelligence
The main benefits of emotional intelligence are:
- Promotes well-being;
- Improves knowledge, self-esteem and self-confidence;
- Reduces stress and anxiety;
- Promotes flexibility;
- Improves relationships;
- Promotes commitment and responsibility;
- Improves the ability to make decisions.
Furthermore, emotional intelligence also promotes personal and professional growth, helps to develop empathy and increase motivation.
Consequences of low emotional intelligence
Low emotional intelligence is characterized by a person’s difficulty in dealing with their own feelings and relating to the emotional experiences of others.
A lack of emotional intelligence can lead to attitudes such as emotional outbursts, insensitive responses or blaming other people, increasing the risk of conflict and compromising the quality of relationships.
Furthermore, low emotional intelligence can also reduce a person’s social circle and support networks, harming mental health and well-being.
