For those of you who have doubts about what an abusive relationship is like and how to identify it, we have put together 6 examples of attitudes that abusive people commit.
Women are increasingly gaining their space in society. Even though there are still difficult cases, it is possible to say that treatment towards women has improved. However, cases of abusive relationships continue to be on the rise, worrying a large part of the population.
Basically, an abusive relationship does not necessarily only involve physical violence. An abusive relationship has different forms of violence, including psychological, sexual, physical and financial violence.
Abusive relationships occur both in love affairs and in family or even professional relationships. Basically, if you are living with a person who takes away your peace, self-esteem, self-confidence and, above all, tries to control you, then you are in an abusive relationship.
Now based on data from UN Women, our country occupies 5th place in the ranking of feminicide. Therefore, around 41% of cases of violence happen at home. Furthermore, 3 out of 5 women are victims of an abusive relationship.
How can I identify if I am in an abusive relationship?
Basically, many people are constantly living in an abusive relationship, but they cannot decipher this situation. In the vast majority, they think it is normal behavior and jealousy, or else it is a form of extra care and affection on the part of the partner.
However, there are also cases where physical attacks occur. Most of the time, victims imagine that it is just a fight for the moment and that the aggressor can change, or that the situation will not happen again. Because, in the victim’s mind, they love each other. However, in reality, this person is experiencing silent violence.
To provide a better example, I will expose some particularities of an abusive relationship: feeling submissive, threatened, inferior, destroyed, controlled, dominated, isolated, nullified( a), difficulty saying no, always giving in to other people’s wishes, being financially dependent, the other side having more “power”, etc.
Abusive relationships basically boil down to actions of embarrassment, humiliation, manipulation, surveillance, insult, persecution, dependence and limitation of the right to come and go. Furthermore, the victim always prioritizes the other side.
To explain it better, we have separated 6 common cases of an abusive relationship.
6 forms of an abusive relationship
1- Does the person constantly monitor you?
Basically, monitoring takes place on social networks. For example, does the person demand your passwords for all social networks, demand to read all your Direct or Whatsapp messages?
If so, in addition to being an invasion of privacy, it is one of the first doors to building an abusive relationship. You may think it’s an exaggeration, but doing this once in a while is perhaps considered normal. Now that you accept to respond to absolutely everything that happens on your social networks, it’s not right.
In case you are wondering about jealousy in a relationship. We will explain to you that the difference in actions lies in the intensity of the cases. Feeling jealous of someone who is giving you a hard time is, of course, normal.
The problem lies in simple cases, and the person sets up a castle of persecution, distrust and monitoring. Therefore, pay attention to your partner’s actions.
2- Does your partner try to diminish you?
Silly, meaningless jokes with no intention of diminishing the other person are fine. Because a relationship without fun and laughter becomes monotonous and dull. The mistake we want to show you is frequent situations from your partner, which he makes a point of “throwing in your face” that you are no good for anything.
Basically, these are situations that lower your self-esteem and make you feel weaker, more fragile and more powerless. Embarrassments can occur either just between the two of you, or in worse cases, that he embarrasses you in public. Therefore, making you dull and sad.
However, in situations like this, swearing occurs, words that hurt and slowly destroy the person inside. Until the moment comes when the person does not think they are capable of living without the other, or they think they are weak enough to the point of not being able to act alone in any way.
3- Does the person try to change habits that are part of who you are?
Situations like this are when the partner tries to change their lifestyle, their clothing style, their makeup, musical tastes and even their profession. Basically, these are situations in which your partner oppresses you to the point that you change exactly the way he wants.
If you don’t change as he “indicates”, he starts insulting you, making fun of you and embarrassing you. In addition to oppressing or ignoring you. Anyway, these are ways to diminish you so he can achieve what he wants, that is, to have all the power over you.
You are incredible, you don’t accept anything less than that.
4- Does your partner only care about themselves?
Do you never go out to eat that sandwich you like, or do you just go to the cinema to watch the movies he wants? Then you may be in an abusive relationship.
Basically, these are situations in which your partner wants you to worry about him frequently, but when he’s supposed to take care of you, he doesn’t care. In relationships like this, at the end of the day, only one person has an active voice, while the other just listens and accepts.
Because, for the aggressor, the other person’s opinion won’t matter, because only his is right. In other words, you are dating a selfish and spoiled person.
5- Does your partner not understand your feelings or play emotional games?
Basically, this case is one in which you say you are going through a difficult situation, and that you need to vent, and have a friendly shoulder to calm you down. However, your partner doesn’t listen to you and still judges you as boring and spoiled, for giving importance to little things.
Or, there are those cases where your partner plays all these emotional games with you to make you guilty of something. In other words, he creates any reason to create a fight between you and in the end he puts all the blame on you, making you feel guilty and stupid.
Be careful, don’t believe everything others say. Respect your moment too, if you are feeling bad and want to cry, cry. Don’t let anyone lessen your pain.
6- Does it justify abusive behavior with drug use?
These are the most abominable cases of all.
Basically, these are situations in which partners attack their partner both physically and psychologically and then appear to regret it, blaming it on yesterday’s beer.
In short, do not accept any lack of respect, whether physical or psychological. Never tolerate this type of situation.
What to do if your relationship is abusive
Anyway, if you identify with any of these situations, then seek help! Whether from friends or a professional. In addition to seeking to develop your self-knowledge.
You need to know yourself more, work more on your self-esteem. I know that talking is easier than doing it. However, the words in your thoughts have power. So, repeat often that you are strong and that no one will harm you, that the universe helps you make this a reality.
However, the ideal is for you to strengthen your emotional intelligence, discover your limits, recognize your inner self and your own values. Because, once you are able to separate negative situations from positive ones, you will know how to decipher what is or is not best for you.
Love yourself more.
Women’s Area hopes to have helped you with this matter. Therefore, we recommend you this other article: Healthy and happy relationships are the result of these 10 attitudes
Sources: Febracis, G1.globo, Psicologia viva, Marie Claire Magazine
Images: City Guru, Single Girls Block, F-utilities
