During the first year of life, the baby tends to go through 4 developmental crises, at 3, 6, 8 and 12 months, and they are considered normal and are related to some “mental leaps”, that is, moments in which the mind of the baby develops quickly.
These crises are marked by changes in the baby’s behavior, which can be noticed through changes in feedings, changes in sleep, difficulty sleeping, excessive crying or irritation, for example.
In these crisis phases, it is important to maintain breastfeeding, especially in the first 6 months of the child’s life, in addition to creating sleep and feeding routines, so that the baby feels comfortable, safe and protected, taking into account that each family has its structure, characteristics and possibilities and, therefore, must adapt accordingly.
3 month crisis
The 3-month crisis lasts, on average, 15 days and has some striking signs such as:
1. Change in feedings
At 3 months, a “breastfeeding crisis” may occur, in which the mother may feel that the baby no longer wants to breastfeed and that her breast is no longer as full as before.
But what happens is that the baby is now able to suck the breast better and empty it more quickly, reducing the feeding time to 3 to 5 minutes. Furthermore, the breast no longer leaves as much milk in stock, producing at the moment and according to demand.
At this stage, many mothers start supplementation because they think they are not offering enough milk to the child, which leads to a lack of stimulation and thus early weaning.
What to do: It is recommended that the mother insist on breastfeeding as her body is capable of producing the necessary amount of milk that the child needs. Therefore, if the baby’s latch is correct and the breasts do not hurt or have cracks, there is no indication that the baby is breastfeeding poorly and, therefore, breastfeeding should not be stopped.
One point to note is that at this stage the child is more easily distracted, so trying to breastfeed in quiet places can help.
2. Changes in behavior and sleep
The baby at this stage tends to wake up more often during the night, a fact that many mothers associate with the change in feedings and understand that it is hunger.
Therefore, when the child cries, the mother offers her breast, when she tries to let go of the child, she cries and the two go back and forth, this happens because the baby breastfeeds even when he is not hungry, as he feels safe with his mother, as when he understood that the two were one.
As this is the moment when the baby begins to discover the world, becomes more active and his vision improves, everything is new and a reason for agitation and he already understands that by crying his needs will be met, generating anxiety and sometimes irritability.
What to do: Considering that it is a completely normal adjustment phase in development and very important for growth, parents should try to stay calm and maintain a peaceful environment to help the baby get through it, as in a few days the routine will return to normal. The child should not be medicated at this stage.
Other methods that can help during this crisis include holding the baby a lot and applying the kangaroo method, telling stories showing colorful drawings in books, among other actions that demonstrate contact and attention. See here what the Kangaroo method is and how to do it.
Why it happens
The 3-month crisis happens because until that moment, for the baby, he and his mother are a single person, as if it were a pregnancy outside the womb. This phase can also be described as a second birth, the first, biological, was on the day of birth and with the arrival of 3 months the psychological birth takes place.
At this stage, the baby begins to interact more, look into each other’s eyes, imitate gestures, play and complain.
The 3-month crisis happens precisely because the child realizes that he is no longer trapped in his mother, understands that he is not part of her, sees her as another being and needs to call on her to get what he needs, which can generate anxiety in the child. baby, which can be noticed by more moments of crying.
Don’t ignore the signs your body is giving you!
6 month crisis
Some signs of the 6-month crisis are:
1. Difficulty sleeping
From 6 to 8 months, the “sleep regression” phase may occur in which the baby may wake up more often during sleep, have difficulty falling asleep or going back to sleep, or take longer naps during the day.
Furthermore, it is common for the baby to cry more and wake up more agitated.
What to do: It is important to create a bedtime routine, such as taking a warm bath or having a relaxing massage before bed, reducing the light in the room or singing a lullaby, for example.
This routine is important to signal to the baby that it is time to sleep, leaving him more relaxed and calm to sleep through the night. See other tips for making your baby sleep through the night.
3. Irritation
Until 6 months, the baby recognized only the mother, even through the bond established through breastfeeding, even if the father has been active since the baby was born.
At this stage, the baby starts to recognize his father, which can start the crisis, which can be perceived as agitation and irritation, excessive crying and changes in sleep and mood.
To confuse things a little, the beginning of teething often happens during this period and the two phases can be confused, as teething also causes discomfort and the child can become more agitated and irritated, in addition to causing diarrhea and even fever. See the symptoms of the birth of the first teeth.
What to do: This is the time for the mother to give space and for the father to be present in the child’s life, in addition to supporting and helping the mother. The mother must monitor herself so as not to feel guilt or jealousy, as she needs to increase the baby’s network of contacts.
Still, according to some experts, a baby’s adaptation to daycare is easier if done before 8 months, as during this period they still don’t feel the absence of their parents so much. Check out more about the development of a 6-month-old baby.
Why it happens
Between the child’s 5th and 6th month, the formation of the family triangle takes place and it is at this moment that the child realizes that there is a father figure.
Even though the father is active from birth, the baby’s relationship does not have the same meaning as it does with the mother, and this recognition only happens around six months and then the crisis begins.
The 6-month crisis also happens to the mother and often affects her more than the child himself, who must deal with the father’s entry into the relationship and, often, it is during this period that many women return to work, intensifying the crisis.
8 month crisis
The 8-month crisis lasts longer, around 3 to 4 weeks, with the main signs being:
1. Excessive crying
Excessive crying or irritation at 8 months may be caused by separation anxiety, characterized by the fear of parents disappearing and not returning, even if it is for a trip to the bathroom or when they leave the baby in the crib at night to sleep.
In addition to excessive crying, the baby may need attention and the parent’s lap all the time, and may become agitated until one of the parents picks him up.
In some children this crisis can happen as early as the 6th month or for others in the 9th, but it generally happens in the 8th month and is considered a crisis of separation, anguish or fear of strangers, where the baby’s personality can change a lot.
What to do: To help reduce separation anxiety, you can offer your baby an object to make them feel safer, calmer and more comfortable, such as a blanket or toy that your baby likes.
As the object does not disappear, the mother, even if absent, will not disappear. Another tip is for the mother to always hug the object and then leave it with the child, so that the child can smell the mother’s scent and not feel helpless.
In addition, it is important to calm the baby, making him safe and comfortable, placing your hand on his head and talking in a low voice until the baby relaxes and sleeps.
2. Sleep regression
The sleep regression phase that can occur at 6 months can be stronger at 8 months, with the baby presenting a strong break in the sleep pattern, waking up throughout the night and waking up scared and crying intensely.
Other signs include agitation and loss of desire to eat, which are more intense than in other crises. However, as this phase depends on each child’s personality, it is also common for some babies to go through the crisis calmly.
What to do: Many couples take their child to sleep in the same bed with them, but this practice is not ideal because parents do not sleep peacefully for fear of hurting the child.
When a child has a crying spell at night, it is preferable for the mother to calm the child, because when the mother leaves, the child thinks that she will never come back. This helps her understand that her mother’s presence can be followed by absences. See how to soothe your baby to sleep.
As in other phases, it is important to give the child affection and attention to reassure him of his distress, in addition to always saying goodbye to the baby to make it clearer that he will return and he will not be abandoned. A good example of a game at this stage is hide and seek.
Why it happens
The 8-month crisis happens because the baby starts to be separated from his mother more often and, in his head, understands that she will not return, leading to a feeling of abandonment.
12 month crisis
In the 12-month crisis, the main signs are:
1. Irritation and crying
At 12 months, the baby has normally started to take its first steps, and may become irritable or tearful when it wants to reach an object or move somewhere and is unable to do so.
What to do: the child must be encouraged to move, supported, accompanied and supported, but never forced, as the child will begin to walk when he thinks he can and when his brain and legs collaborate. Even so, sometimes the child wants it and can’t, which leaves him distressed.
It is recommended that the environment is healthy, welcoming and peaceful, and even though this phase may be a little difficult, it is remarkable and very significant.
Furthermore, the more support and protection the child receives during this separation phase, the better they tend to deal with it.
2. Changes in appetite
In this phase of exploring the environment around them, and wanting to be more independent, it is also common for the baby to not want to eat and not be able to sleep properly. See what a baby’s development is like at 12 months.
What to do: you should continue offering breast milk, formula or food to the baby, preferably following fixed times and letting the baby touch the food, smell it and feel the texture.
Furthermore, the sleep routine must be maintained, as it makes the baby calmer and more relaxed, as they are able to associate the parents’ actions, such as reducing the light in the room or telling a story, with the time to sleep.
Why it happens
At 12 months is the stage where the child begins to take their first steps and, therefore, wants to discover the world and be more independent.
However, she continues to be dependent and in great need of her parents. The crisis happens precisely for this reason.
